The real juicy factoid of the day is that Zoya might be getting kicked out of her grandmother’s apartment, which she and her father have been squatting in since she moved to a nursing home. Hold on: Your sister got you a free spot at a fancy private school and her billionaire boyfriend just corralled several businesses for you, and you’re upset that she might have told someone about your birthday? Also, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want to be reminded about the anniversary of her mother’s death as much as you don’t! Except Julien, whom Zoya assumes is the informant and lashes out at after Obie shows up to school with a bunch of food trucks for her. 1 thing she wants to do?Īnyway, Zoya spends most of the episode embarrassed about her birthday that almost no one really seems to care about, much less know the grim details of. But you’re telling me this woman is risking her entire livelihood for a job that isn’t even the No. I get that, as an English teacher, she would have the inclination to write some fiction here and there. Surprisingly, the teachers also think Keller needs to chill on her cyberstalking, not because it’s morally bankrupt but because she needs to focus more on her dreams of being a writer. Still, it’s frightening to watch this grown woman nearly foam at the mouth over a child having an awful birthday. Um, I guess? In the world of teen soaps, sure. Gossip Girl, a.k.a Keller, announces this to the world, recognizing that teen birthdays are canonically rife with drama. Can we at least get some flashbacks? What was she like? Why did she leave Davis for Nick? What’s her name? Why does the only image we see of this woman look like a stock photo in a picture frame from Walmart?Īs I previously alluded to, we find out very abruptly at the start of this episode that Zoya’s mother died while giving birth to her. We also know nothing about this woman other than that she’s dead and procreated with two men. Here, the dead mom trope as the underlying tension between these two families plays out so tediously that her passing feels more like an inconvenience than an actual source of loss and pain for these characters. But the latter revelation at least was soapy and hilariously over the top, bolstered by the iconic villainy of Georgina Sparks. We found out that Serena van der Woodsen had a suicidal brother and kind of killed someone in season one of the original. It’s not that this depressing-ass backstory that all of a sudden involves maternal death isn’t antithetical to a fun viewing. The world, zero.I was really hoping I wouldn’t hear the series of words “immunocompromised mom DIED” in the first five minutes of this episode, but here we are! After a thoroughly amusing and classically chaotic episode last week, this show is back on its bullshit, shoving Zoya and Julien’s rather stale familial woes down our throats once again. Serena: You tried to ruin my friendship with Blair, my reputation, my academic career.Ĭhuck: You failed every time and now it's time for you to go.Ĭhuck: If we catch you hanging around again, there will be consequences.Ĭhuck: For us, a million. Nate: How would I ever believe anything you say again?īlair: Well you can believe the part where she does her own hair. ( Serena, Blair, Chuck and Nate surround Juilet )Ĭhuck: Your obsession with Serena has grown tiresome.īlair: Just because you have no money and delusions of grandeur doesn't make it OK for you to be a single white trash female. Though she did state something to the effect that he didn't quite satisfy her like I used to. I know this because I keep tabs on everyone Blair sees and talks to due to my insatiable jealousy. She was indeed having an affair with Professor Forrester. This could go on a while.Ĭhuck: I, for one can fully corroborate Miss. Nate discovers Juliet's real secret and Dan realizes that he still has feelings for Serena.īlair: Life is tough Serena, just get a helmet.Ĭhuck: I hope you did your yoga. Vanessa joins Juliet's scheme to try to bring down Serena when damaging information about Serena falls into her lap. Serena continues to resist temptation with her professor Colin, while Blair tries to resist temptation with Chuck.
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